"Darling, I can see why you came to me. You poor dear, you look dreadful. White nylon rope wasn't even in fashion in 2009, and we all know 2009 was the year fashion forgot. God; can I help you? Or are you too far gone? Hmmm, well, you do have good raw material, I'll give you that. AQUA ROPE! That's what you need. Yes, aqua will fix everything. And it'll be perfect with you eyes. BUT DARLING WHAT ARE THOSE AWFUL THINGS ON YOUR FEET? And good heavens; no one is wearing rope bondage without a gag this season. It just WON'T DO.
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